Clay County Commissioner Jason Withington Takes Credit for Losing Royals Stadium Deal
In a stunning display of unparalleled negotiation prowess, Jason Withington, Clay County Commissioner, has managed to botch a deal with the Kansas City Royals that has left everyone scratching their heads and counting their pennies – all seven of them.
The Royals, in their delusional state of wanting to invest in the local community, dared to ask for a mere $1.35 billion from Clay County, North Kansas City, and the State of Missouri combined. Shockingly, they even had the audacity to request the full penny sales tax from Clay County, amounting to a trifling $700 million. Who do they think they are, anyway? The nerve.
Withington and his negotiating dream team bravely countered with a groundbreaking offer of 5/8 cent over 40 years, a move that undoubtedly left the Royals questioning their own sanity. Clearly, the county had the Royals right where they wanted them – on their knees, begging for pocket change.
But wait, there's more! Not content with their stunningly "generous" counteroffer, Clay County demanded the Royals reimburse them $4 million annually for the audacious act of requesting a whole penny more than what the county was graciously willing to offer. Because who wouldn't want to be reimbursed for the trauma of negotiating with a sports team?
Unlike Jackson County, where apparently they believe in openness and transparency, Withington made sure to keep the entire Clay County Commission in the loop with regular weekly meetings. Because nothing says transparency like a closed-door negotiation where decisions are made for the greater good without pesky public interference.
Let's not forget the outstanding achievement of not mortgaging the future for the Royals. How commendable! Who needs a baseball team anyway when you can have the satisfaction of knowing you stood firm against their generous offer to build Clay County's economic future?
In conclusion, we salute you, Jason Withington, for your unmatched skills in negotiations, your unwavering commitment to half-cent victories, and your ability to make even the most modest of requests seem like a huge economic loss. May your legacy of frugality live on in the annals of penny-pinching history.
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