Unopposed County Commissioner Rants at Suggestion of a Contested Race

Who Needs Competition Anyway? Certainly Not This Guy

In a stunning turn of events, after filing opened up yesterday, none of the incumbent Clay County Commissioners currently in office have drawn an opponent, although that could change. Filing remains open until March 30th.

However, Western District Commissioner Jason Withington has emerged as the uncontested champion of electoral entitlement. Facing zero opposition, the mere suggestion by a Facebook poster that someone should run against him provoked a rant from Mr. Withington in which he insisted that he is not a "liberal", that he represents all voters, and that conservatives vote for him all the time. Right, so by that reasoning he is so awesome, that we can just cancel the election?

Ah, but we cannot ignore the pièce de résistance of this political circus: Withington's masterful takedown of a certain man Josiah Bechthold, a mere mortal who dared question his political identity. In a display of rhetorical finesse, Withington opted for the classic tactic of deflection and personal attack. "Maybe you should stop projecting onto me," he chided the FB user, before launching into a wholly unnecessary diatribe about the poor man's residency and familial connections. Truly, a shining example of mature political discourse at its finest.

The absence of challengers has left many scratching their heads, particularly those who believe in such quaint notions as democracy and accountability. "It’s truly inspiring to see such enthusiasm for our democratic process," remarked one resident, while stifling a yawn.

But let's delve into why this fine gentleman, Mr. Withington is so unassailable. For he is decidedly not conservative, despite what some might assume based on their voting records. Nope, He is just an independent thinker who coincidentally votes alongside conservatives almost 100% of the time. How refreshing to see such bipartisan spirit... or something.

However, the lack of a conservative opposition has left some constituents clamoring for change. "We really need some conservatives to step up and run against them!" exclaimed one concerned citizen, who clearly hasn't grasped the concept of an uncontested election.

But fear not, dear readers, for Commissioner Withington is here to set the record straight. When pressed on his political affiliation, Withington deftly dodged the question like a seasoned politician.

Meanwhile, Commissioner Jon Carpenter, whom the poster also mentioned, and the other clay county commissioners' absence from this verbal jousting suggests a preference for more traditional forms of communication and remains a beacon of silence in these turbulent times. To be fair all Clay County commissioners who have filed have failed to draw opponents

In conclusion, Clay County residents can rest easy knowing that their commissioners are unequivocally uninterested in stirring up any unnecessary controversy. Truly, democracy in action has never looked so... uneventful, save one. We can always count on Commissioner Withington to run his mouth when some unsuspecting voter gets under his skin.