Brace yourselves, Gladstone residents—the City Council has officially given the green light to the much-anticipated NE 76th Terrace Storm Drainage & Parking Project, because what’s more exciting than digging up roads and installing pipes? With construction set to begin in mid-February 2025, you can look forward to months of detours, heavy machinery, and that ever-so-lovely symphony of jackhammers bright and early in the morning.
For the modest price of $662,815.34, the city is rolling out a storm drainage and parking transformation that promises to tackle the age-old struggle of flooding, erosion, and the eternal quest for more parking spaces. The prestigious Fleshman Construction, Inc. has been entrusted with this noble mission, which includes:
Upgrading the storm drainage system by replacing a puny 18-inch pipe with a mighty 60-inch pipe, because bigger is always better, right? This should (hopefully) reduce the small lakes that tend to form on NE 76th Terrace every time it rains.
Installing a “wildlife-friendly” gate at a local cave entrance—because if there’s one thing standing between civilization and chaos, it’s making sure bats have a fancy new door.
Expanding parking near Hobby Hill Disc Golf Course, proving once and for all that disc golf truly is the backbone of local infrastructure planning.
Constructing a field inlet near 300 NE 76th Terrace, where stormwater pipes like to gather and reminisce about the good old days before they got clogged.
Slowing erosion and flood risks near 102 NE 76th Terrace, because, shockingly, water has a tendency to destroy things when left unchecked.
The project was proudly unveiled in an open study session on January 27, 2025, where, presumably, the usual suspects nodded in agreement and patted each other on the back.
Flooding: Will It Actually Be Fixed This Time?
In a bold move, the city is swapping out its tiny, ineffective drainage pipe for a monstrous 60-inch alternative. If all goes according to plan (which it always does, obviously), this should redirect stormwater and prevent NE 76th Terrace from resembling a riverbed every time the forecast calls for rain. Residents will have to trust the process, even if that means navigating construction chaos for months on end.
The regrading near 102 NE 76th Terrace is meant to slow erosion and protect homeowners from finding their backyards slowly migrating down the street. A 48-inch storm pipe and turf reinforcement mats should do the trick—unless, of course, nature decides to have a say in the matter.
A Bat Gate, Because Why Not?
One of the project’s crowning achievements will be the bat-friendly gate at a local cave entrance. This masterpiece will follow the 2009 “Agency Guide to Cave and Mine Gates” (yes, that’s a real thing) and be installed with input from the Missouri Department of Conservation and Bat Conservation International. Translation: Gladstone’s bats will now have the VIP entrance they never knew they needed.
The Parking Crisis of Hobby Hill Disc Golf Course
Forget about crumbling roads or overcrowded schools—the real issue plaguing Gladstone is not enough parking at the disc golf course. Luckily, this project will ensure players have a luxurious place to park their vehicles before flinging frisbees into the abyss with the construction of a new lot with an additional 40 parking spots.
The Price Tag: A Bargain at $662,815.34
The city has generously earmarked over $662K for this endeavor, ensuring that stormwater will have somewhere new to go, bats will have exclusive entryways, and disc golfers will no longer suffer the indignity of inadequate parking. The lucky winner of this contract, Fleshman Construction, Inc., now holds the keys to this grand vision. One can only wonder: How long will it take, how far over budget will it go, and how much public outrage will it spark along the way?
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The NE 76th Terrace Storm Drainage & Parking Project is poised to be a legendary chapter in Gladstone’s history, tackling everything from floods and erosion to parking woes and bat accommodations. Of course, residents should brace for the usual side effects of civic improvement—traffic nightmares, budget overruns, and the unmistakable sound of “progress” waking them up at 6 AM.
But fear not! When it’s all said and done, Gladstone will emerge victorious, with less flooding (hopefully), happier bats, and a disc golf course parking lot that will be the envy of municipalities far and wide. Let the countdown to construction chaos begin!
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