Oh, what a time to be alive! Ah, yet another grand political gesture to keep sports teams happy—because heaven forbid billion-dollar franchises endure anything less than “state of the art” luxury.
Despite the fact that a poll conducted in 2023, showed that 70% of Clay County Residents opposed subsidizing construction of a Royals Stadium in North Kansas City, State Senator Maggie Nurrenbern, a Kansas City Democrat has bravely stepped up to file legislation authorizing Clay County to create a sports complex authority. Her noble cause? To develop and maintain sports, convention, and trade facilities—because nothing screams "urgent legislative priority" like making sure wealthy team owners like John Sherman benefit the residents with more heavy stadium traffic while only asking for a 37-year tax abatement.
Nurrenburn and her fellow legislator Kurtis Gregory, a Marshall, Mo, Republican, are laser-focused on achieving the impossible - to bring the Royals and a staggering $2.5 billion in private development to Clay County. Because why not? Taxpayer dollars must be itching to jump into this glorious pot of gold.
But wait, there's more! This plan is not just about stealing the Royals from Kansas City; it's about creating the "Missouri solution." Maggie and her gang are determined to ensure that the Royals and the Kansas City Chiefs stay in the Show-Me State. Who cares about tradition or history? The good ol' Missouri way is to kidnap teams from their homes and rename it "solutions."
Nurrenbern insists this idea isn’t new, tracing it back a whole two years to when the Royals flirted with the thought of a new stadium in North Kansas City. But don’t get too excited—there’s been no actual movement on that front. Still, why let reality get in the way of a perfectly good proposal? According to Nurrenbern, the idea should “absolutely still be on the table” because the location is “incredible.” Apparently, a stadium placed in the geographic center of the metro area is a groundbreaking concept.Let's not forget the moral high ground Nurrenburn and company stand upon. They promise to craft a fair deal for the taxpayers. Fair, as in, we'll generously allow taxpayers to pay for a baseball team and massive private development while still being "fair." It's the kind of fairness that will make the rich richer and the average taxpayer wonder why they ever complained about property taxes.
“The Chiefs want state-of-the-art facilities,” Nurrenbern said, as if their current setup is a medieval dungeon. “And this would really give them that option.” Oh, and don’t worry about travel logistics—Nurrenbern reassures everyone that it’s only a whopping 15-minute drive from Arrowhead, which, of course, makes all the difference in the world.
So, while Missouri lawmakers continue solving the really pressing issues of our time, stay tuned to see which billionaire sports owner gets the next public-funded windfall—all in the name of civic pride, of course.
Local citizens are said to be overjoyed at the prospect of tightening their belts even further to finance a project that will undoubtedly benefit everyone who attends the occasional baseball game. Because who cares about those pesky potholes or outdated school textbooks when you can watch millionaires play a children's game?
It's reassuring to see elected officials focusing on the priorities that truly matter. Who needs functional infrastructure, quality education, or accessible healthcare when we can have the pride of cheering for a sports team that may or may not bring home a championship once in a blue moon?
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| Royals Owner John Sherman |
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