Almost everyone believes they are ugly. Your grandmother.
Your child. Your best friend. Most models. Most actors. Maybe even you.
“Oh, don’t take my photo, I’ll break your camera!” laughs
the 80-year-old grandfather. When he dies a few months later, his grandkids
will treasure this reminder of what he called his “ugly mug.”
“Please delete this,” says a dear old friend. I think she
looks beautiful. She looks like herself. She’s been captured in a moment in
which she is utterly comfortable in her skin. And she hates it.
It’s so common for people to say “OMG I’m so ugly” and it’s
so annoying. Just because the majority don’t bow down in front of you
complimenting your physical attractiveness DOES NOT mean you’re ugly. Stop
calling yourself ugly you look like every other human being on this planet. You
look average, just like the rest of us. Not everyone on this earth is meant to
be attractive. Likewise, not everyone is meant to be unattractive.
Most of these people that say this just want attention. Look
honestly if we did the numbers and we determined that we were below average
attractiveness thereby ugly, someone would still find us attractive. Because it
is all subjective anyway as some cultures/individuals find features more or
less desirable. Ugly is pretty subjective to be honest. Lip gages in certain African
tribes or those neck bracelets that extend your neck to like a foot are seen as
beautiful in certain cultures. Considered completely ugly in North America and
Europe.
Perhaps when people say attractive and beautiful they mean
fitness. Unlike the false concept of beauty, Fitness is a real thing. If we were being objective and grading people's fitness
on a scale of 1 to 10, at the age of ~18 the average mean score for a healthy
individual would be 8 with a standard deviation of approximately one. Basically,
being young and healthy would generally translate into being attractive if we
are using fitness as the defining characteristic. On top of this, the average person could
elevate their innate ranking by improving their health and fitness, being more
careful with their grooming, and dressing in a way that accentuates their
physique. I would contend that 99% of
the people complaining about being ugly can become good looking with basic self
care: proper hygiene, diet, hydration and exercise. Maybe go to a good
hairdresser once in a while.
The problem is that most people don't understand this, and mistake being normal-looking as being generally "ugly", even when
they have a good level of fitness. They don't recognize how much control they
have over their (long term) attractiveness.
You will never see yourself with the love that others have
for you. That’s what makes a person beautiful, not angles or contours. You will
never be objective about your appearance. But fortunately for you, your friends
and family are never objective, either: They’re biased to see you through the
way they smile when you walk into a room. I've never met an ugly person who was
kind, compassionate, generous or thoughtful. And I've met a LOT if people.
Genuine smiles are beautiful, and so is the person smiling. They want every
photo of you they can get their hands on, because each photo is tied to your
memory.
You are the worst
judge of your appearance. Trust me. You look fine. The camera loves you. Now
take a picture.
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