GLADSTONE — Breaking News: Adults Finally Allowed in the Pool Without Floaties In a groundbreaking initiative that surely no one saw coming, the Red Cross is heroically stepping in to rescue the under-water crowd. Yes, As part of their program at the Gladstone Community Center is now offering swim lessons for those brave enough to admit they never quite nailed the art of not sinking. Dubbed a “learn-at-your-own-pace” program — a gentle euphemism for “we’ll wait while you flail” — the lessons are tailored for older teens and adults who missed the memo on how to swim during childhood. Fear not, though! Each 45-minute session will take place under the watchful eyes of an instructor, hopefully trained and fit because nothing says “motivating” like a lifeguard who can competently give pointers on your doggy paddle. The program promises to meet you wherever you are in your aquatic journey, whether you’re just figuring out which end of the pool is shallow or finally tackling that irrational fear of the deep end. And all this magic happens at 6901 N. Holmes St., a venue whose biggest claim to fame is that it now doubles as the salvation of your dignity. So grab your goggles, dust off that swim cap, and prepare for 45 minutes of splash-filled growth. The Red Cross is here to help, one tentative toe-dip at a time.
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